My Identity - Topher's Life
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My Identity

One of my biggest challenges is trying to understand who I am. This may sound confusing or peculiar, but I really don’t know who I am at the moment, well some days I think I do. A few years ago, I had complete confidence in my identity but now I lack that confidence. I attended church, I played music, I traveled, and I socialized but none of those apply to me anymore. Church is out the window, I’ve sold most of my music gear, traveling is on hold, and socializing only remains with my family and a maybe one or two close friends. Does this define who I am? No. It was just a part of who I was and now I am trying to figure out who I am.

I play a role in the lives of those around me. I am a son, a brother, a cousin, a nephew, a grandson, a friend, an employee, and perhaps an enemy. When these roles are stripped away from me, then who am I? When I can’t answer this simple question then I have to search within myself and discover who I am. The search requires self-reflecting and being completely honest with myself. In time, I hope to discover who I am and where I fit in this world.

“We know what we are, but not what we may be.”

– William Shakespeare

Recently, I told my therapist that no one has a right to tell me who they think I am. She explained to me that my uncertainty about my identity can cause others to question me and my life. At the moment I struggle with having an identification with my faith and with my sexuality. I don’t believe in labeling myself nor do I believe in labeling others, so if you must, I am just me; a completely lost individual seeking to find himself and his true identity.

I was questioned again by my therapist about if I have discovered who I am now with all the time that has gone by. I told her, “I am me. That’s it. No label. Just me”. Her response to me was, “You sound confident in that response.” Since then, I just continue to live my life with an open-mind and understanding of others around me. I have definitely learned not to judge a person until I have the chance to know their character. Every day is a day to learn more about myself and discover my identity.