05 Jun The Power of Words
Let us consider the power of words. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble, and so on. Considering the power of words, we must discipline ourselves to speak in a way that conveys respect, gentleness, humility, and love. I remember growing up with that saying, “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt.” That isn’t true. Harmful and discouraging words can cause pain for years to come.
My therapist and I engaged in a conversation about how peoples harmful words can damage a person’s heart, mind, and soul. This actually hit home. I am not putting my family down. We all have issues. I have issues, my siblings have issues, my parents have issues, their parents had issues, and so on. I love my family and I am at a place to understand their flaws and issues and accept them for them. They just need to recognize their issues and work on them. The same applies to me as well.
My siblings and I grew up in a dysfunctional and abusive environment. Most of this negative and toxic environment came from my father. I have a decent relationship with my dad now. We have our moments, but we’ve come a long way. My father was verbally abusive towards us. I can’t speak for my siblings but the verbal putdowns that came from my father’s mouth have lingered around and have taken root. My father used to say I was a piece of shit and I would never amount to anything. At that time, I was in high school, so I just ignored it and covered it by allowing hatred towards my father fester. I hated my father. I wanted him dead. I always questioned God why he would allow a father like him be my father. I tried to forgive my dad but the hurt and pain was too deep, and I just allowed that hatred to build.
When I attended church years ago, I use to always hear the pastor talk about the passage in scripture that says, “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?” I would always respond in my head, “Okay Jack, if only you knew my father.” No one really knew how my dad acted. This daddy issue made it difficult in my spiritual walk with God. I heard that God is loving, kind, gentle, compassionate, merciful, and forgiving yet how can he be all this and a father. I had a hard time accepting that because of my biological father.
For years my father’s harmful words have penetrated the depths of my soul, making me believe that I was never going to amount to anything. I always felt stuck and under his control, even when I was old enough to move out. I was insecure about myself and my life. I allowed those words of his to bring me down. Going to school, and getting a decent job, buying my own car and moving out was all to prove to my dad that I am doing well, and I don’t need him. Then, everything was taken from me and I was once again under the power of those words, “you are a piece of shit and will never amount to anything.”
Sometime last year, I was in an argument with my father and we exchanged some words. I can’t remember what we argued about, but I remember telling my father that it’s hard for me to do anything because you always said I was a piece of shit and would never be anything in life. I expected him to deny and or just walk away but he looked at me and said, “You will do well in life. You are a good son and I love my kids.” It felt like those negative words that have kept me enslaved just vanished, giving me a sense of freedom.
I still have my moments where those words try to discourage me. I don’t allow those words to have any power in my life. I choose to toss those words aside because they have no truth.
Our words have power. I try stay positive and share positive and encouraging words with others. I am not perfect, and I have my moments, but I try. I know what it’s like to be harmed by words and I don’t want to repeat that to anyone. For those of you who have experienced some hurtful words, just know that negative words are empty words. Don’t allow those words to dwell and take root.
Thanks for reading and positive vibes!